one day, in 1978, taylor swift was in target when she overheard a woman telling her son he couldn’t get a princess dress for his birthday because he was a boy

taylor couldn’t believe it – she walked up to the woman and asked what her name was

“rachel” said the woman

taylor promptly began to beat the fuck out of her. she warned her to not call the police and left but not before buying the little boy the dress he wanted

here’s where it gets interesting



5 years later, taylor was busking when a man walked up to her and proposed an opportunity

he introduced himself as martin bandier and offered taylor a job with his record label – sony/atv

taylor was ecstatic – she jumped at the chance and before she knew it she had signed a contract and was part of the company and was being flown all the way to new york


she was signed with sony/atv for a year and a half, she and martin had become close friends and one day, martin greeted her at the door to her studio and told her some exciting news

“taylor! my mother flew in all the way from pennsylvania to meet you! she’s heard all about you and your music and it would mean so much if you would come to my office to meet her”

of course, taylor obliged and followed martin up to his office

she opened the door and immediately wanted to curl up into a ball and dive bomb out of the nearest window – sitting at martin’s desk was a painfully familiar face

it was rachel

martin followed behind, and being blissfully unaware of the situation, excitedly told taylor that she didn’t just fly in to see her, she would be the new co owner of sony/atv


2 weeks had passed since rachel arrived and things at work were hellish to put it lightly – she had been replacing the black employees’ coffee creamers with white paint and putting the things on their desks in the trash while they were still looking

martin, being the spineless rat he is, did nothing about this and let her do what she wanted

taylor was beyond furious, but the last straw was when she walked into the sony building and was told by the receptionist that she wasn’t scheduled for that day – actually, she had been removed from the schedule entirely

taylor didn’t have to ask who had done this. she already knew that rachel had taken it upon herself to sabotage her career

taylor left the building, and immediately started searching for another record label.

it only took a few days to find the perfect candidate: mercury records

from there, she began crafting the perfect song to sum up her feelings about the rachel conundrum.

and then she had it – the song that would jumpstart her career and launch her into the music industry




This is for Rachel you big fat white nasty smelling fat bitch why you took me off the motherfucking schedule with your trifling dirty white racist ass you big fat bitch oompa loompa body ass bitch I’m coming outside and I’m going to beat the fuck out of you bitch and don’t even call the police today because I’m gonna come unexpected and wait on yo motherfucking ass bitch I’m going to beat the fuck out of you bitch cause you did that on purpose with your aundry racist white ass danhard bitch watch I’m coming bout to fuck you up bitch I’m telling you watch I know what kind of car you drive I’m gonna wait on you and I’m gonna beat yo ass bitch