I sexually Identify as an electron. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over a nucleus, rotating happily around protons and neutrons. People say to me that a person being an electron is impossible and I’m fucking retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having an atomic physicist put me into the Hadron Collier and throwing quarks on me, giving me an orbit around a hydrogen nucleus. From now on I want you guys to call me “Negative Charge” and respect my right to rotate around my nucleus and conduce electricity. If you can’t accept me you’re an electrophobe and need to check your positively charged privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.