I have built a compound to train in and went to Costco and stocked it with 50 bags of Dog Chow and a ten years supply of Moon Pies and Mountain Dew in case this turns into (TEOTWAWKI) The End Of The World As We Know It. That way me and Duke will be ready.

While at Costco I bought 6 cases of Axe and have repeatedly doused myself in it in order to be prepared for those Lynx bombs outlined in this guide. I have not noticed any Axe effect where women flock to me (or Duke) but the other night at Denny’s a waitress told me I smelled like “mistakes and bad choices” and she thought that was hot.

I declare it here America, I am training and getting ready to save the Red,White, and Blue from all threats both foreign and domestic. I am also training in the COD war simulator like those Jihadis. I have gotten real good too.

The other day RollinBluntz420, xXsparklyPonies, and me found ourself in a heated battle after a random player we were matched with rage quit after calling us “noobs.” Just like if it was a real battle, 420 went in to defuse the bomb and Sparkle threw his sticky grenade at some boxes killing the enemy hiding behind. Then we all took out our sniper rifles and jumped around the map like tweaker bunnies until I got the final kill by quickscoping the last enemy and we won!

After winning that battle I knew I was ready for me some Jihadis! It felt good to be prepared. I decided to go celebrate, so I went bowling and then stopped back by Denny’s to see if that waitress was ready to make mistakes and wrong choices. God bless the USA!