I remember one time I was in 3rd grade and Mr. Himmler our PE teacher was taking our dick measurements but he slipped with the tape measure and sliced my dick in half.


It was awkward having to explain to the girls I had an innie not an outy in the locker rooms from then on, but I did eventually master it to penetrate two holes at once without worrying about where my baby batter goes. In fact, Obama helped me out the first time because he’s in a similar situation but with THREE julienned slices of dick, and then afterwards everyone clapped! Thanks Obama!