The Last Time I Visited Stop and Shop

As much as I loved to do homework, at 3:30 am, I felt that it was time to stop. “!@#$”, I said to myself, “I’m devoid of self esteem”. I then stumbled as got up, and dropped the bottle of cough syrup that I was drinking. Being affected by the cough syrup to such a high extent, I thought to myself that I could buy some self esteem at no place other than Stop and Shop. The real question was, how could I get there? To get to Stop and Shop I decided to turn to my physics homework, and put to power the powers of speed and velocity to make my way to the store by riding my physics homework into (place where Stop and Shop is located). Once I traveled along the interstate to Stop and Shop, I had dispelled my homework into the trash can outside of the store, because I couldn’t see why I’d need that anymore. Walking into the store, I acquired a mobility scooter, which I used to hone my rate of travel, by travelling at 36.89283838 mph towards Aisle 72 where I knew they kept their Self Esteem, a copy of Animal Farm, and kosher food. When I made it to Aisle 72, I discovered that they had renovated the store, and that the whole aisle was filled with Nutella which I became addicted to back in 3rd grade, but had been clean of since 5th. However, with the effects of cough syrup, I thought to myself, “Hey it can’t be that bad to have just one sandwich. I mean, I can do so under my own volition, can’t I?”. So I then started to spread Nutella all over my hand, and after I took the first bite, I realized something, I was allergic to tree nuts. Being panicked, I grabbed the two Epipens that I had on me and stabbed myself in both ears, to mollify my panicking, which continued because it occurred to me that I just spent $1200. The Stop and Shop staff kept me under close scrutiny, as they knew how unpredictable, and notorious for doing unimaginable things, I could be, and when they saw me stab myself, they came to my help, or at least that’s what I thought, because just then, I remembered that I was tested yesterday for allergies and that I was only allergic to bear hair. With my sudden rush of adrenaline, I ran through the staff, who all appeared to be bears, into Aisle 12 where they keep their bagels and asked the bagels where I can find self esteem. I had the temerity to ask the only bagels in the aisle, everything bagels, because they were known for not answering questions relating to self esteem and murdering people who don’t have any. Being the intelligent child I am, I ripped one in half, which rendered him imoblie while holding his family at gunpoint because he didn’t answer me the first time. After getting what I wanted, I shot his family, which the staff heard, which resulted in me being expunged from the store. But they forgot something, they didn’t check my pockets, which I filled with self esteem. I then passed out from blood loss from my hand, and woke up 4 hours later in an ice bath with an incision over where my kidney is. I then realized I was late for school, and worst of all, my self esteem was gone.