\>at a coffee shop

\>an ADOREBLE gurl wolks in

\>my PEENUS becomes stiff and I staht tah feel like BILL CLINTOHN

\>SOOPAH MALE VITALUHTY kicks in so I get the cohredge tah TOLK tah her

\>”OI! Did yew know NOINETY FOH PASENT of peeple don’t trost the MAYNE-STREEM-MEATIER”

\>she looks confused so I tolk moh loudly

\>”DID YEW KNOW MAIKUL MOH IS A SAG OF SHIT”

\>IMAJUN MY SHOCK whin she stahts to roon away

\>”OI! ROONIN AWAY FROM ME IS NOT A LEHJITIMUT FOHM OF PROW-TEST YEW UTTAH FOOKIN MOW-RON”

\>that fill wun no GEE-EEF