Practically every day I heard her complain of me letting the yellow mellow in the loo.

It was infuriating as I knew for a fact it was not me as I piss in the sink. Before, I just didn’t feel like I was ready to tell her this as we had only been seeing each other for a few weeks.

This continued for months until one day she brought up me pissing and not flushing again. I told her that it was her and not me as I am a proud environmentally conscious sink pisser.

The look on her face at hearing this was so goddamn intense, I almost regretted saying it. I probably should have just shut up and taken the blame for her urinating and emigrating.

She revealed to me that sometimes she filled the sink with ice and water and stuck her face in it. She had no idea it was my urinal all that while. Well, I guess that explained her eczema.

Long story short, the breakup was nasty. But not half as nasty as her not flushing the goddamn toilet.