I can confirm that I am retarded. I can provide inculpatory evidence and official documents, and I can get the courts to attest this as well. Look here, I have my doctor’s note, seven different testimonies, and numerous damning admissions as proof of my retardation. I can produce any document you may wish that will confirm that I am, in fact, retarded. You must believe me, sir. I am not lying when I say that you could conduct any number of interrogatories upon me and all results will point to the finding that I suffer from mental retardation. Must I collect my birth certificate and an abundance of other certificates for you to certify this fact? Mayhaps I shall call upon multiple witnesses to stand trial before you and swear of my retardation that they have documented throughout my life. My parents may display corroboration of the general intellectual sufferings which have been inflicted upon me. My friends may verify that I have consistently been an exhibitor of significant cognitive delay. Even Sleepy Joe can be called upon to give authentication that I have, indeed, manifested mental incapability and brainlessness from youth. It’s true! I can stand before you and attest of my retardation, having sworn an oath, if you so wish it.