Throwaway account for obvious reasons.

My husband and I are best friends during the day. Love of my life. It’s at night that’s an issue. I’m a blanket stealer. I once yanked them so hard poor Hubby flipped a full 180. Hubby, for his part, is a thrasher. Bruce Lee would be jealous of the moves he pulls off while unconscious. It’s a constant war between us when we fall asleep, and both of us often wake up sore and exhausted. It was starting to affect our relationship. Neither of us wanted to move to a separate bed because we like spending our nights together, but it seemed like an inevitability. We were both crabby every morning, and we started fighting as soon as we got up. It sucked, but neither of us wanted to concede defeat and move to the other bed.

Quick background: I was a huge nerd as a teenager. Full on otaku (go ahead, cringe, I do too). One night as a joke, I brought down an old anime body pillow from the attic (I know, the cringe) and plopped it down between my husband and I, declaring it our demilitarized zone. Hubby also thought it was hilarious, and we named her DMZ-chan. She stayed there the whole night.

It was a game changer. DMZ-chan protected me from Hubby’s REM-induced rampages, and she’s just heavy enough that I can’t yank the blankets at full speed. DMZ-chan is now a beloved part of our nightly routine. We both thought it was the funniest thing, but she legitimately helped us solve the only real issue in our marriage.

One day, MIL stopped by to pick something up. She got up to use the restroom, passing by our open bedroom door. You can guess what she saw. DMZ-chan, propped up in the middle of our bed, her giant soulful anime eyes looking right back at MIL. When she got back, she quickly grabbed her stuff and left, Hubby and I both confused. She later mentioned DMZ-chan to Hubby while they were on the phone, and it absolutely mortified him. As far as I know, MIL now thinks we’re deviants in a three-way relationship with a body pillow. Hubby was too embarrassed to explain, and now he wants to put DMZ-chan back in the attic.

I was upset. I told him I didn’t want to go back to boxing each other at night, and that DMZ-chan helped us so much in that. He agreed, but suggested we get a normal, plain body pillow case to replace her. I felt like there was no need to spend money on something we already have, and if it really was that big of an issue, we can put her in the closet while we have company over. Hubby is firm in that she has to go permanently. I know he’s embarrassed, but I feel we shouldn’t have to compromise our inside jokes to appease other people. AITA?