It always annoys me when people say how boring states like Iowa, Nebraska, or Wyoming are. But those states are famously boring. Classically boring. So boring that they’re the first places that comes to mind when you think boring. But the real boring states are the ones you forget about entirely. So goddamn useless that they may never cross your mind at all. I’m not talking about Delaware, Idaho, or Arkansas. Idaho and Arkansas have amazing national and state forests, and Delaware has their whole “first state” thing going for them. But one state has nothing going for them. God. Damn. North. Dakota. It has nothing going for it. The only reason it’d ever come to mind is name recognition from it’s less-useless southern neighbor. If it were not for this gratuitous naming situation, no one would have heard of this state at all. North Dakota is the state equivalent of a dull uncle, an unenthusiastic blowjob, and a sudoku puzzle all thrown together into a lettuce-only salad. No dressing either, mind you. Let’s start with the shape. It’s just a boring rectangle. Not a proud, robust rectangle like Colorado or Wyoming. A pathetic, sad, rectangle. It can’t even commit to being a rectangle. The eastern border is a wavy mess that clashes with the fierce edges of the western corners. Now, I wouldn’t judge a state entirely on it’s shape, so let’s head into what there actually is in North Dakota. Oh … nothing? Yep. Absoulutely fucking nothing. Bismarck is the capital of North Dakota, which is pretty ironic. Otto von Bismarck, the city’s namesake, is a badass german strategist. Not fitting for such a lame city. It’s like when someone names a tiny yorkie dog something like Killer or Maimer. It’s laughable that anyone thought this city even deserved a name. But the largest city in ND is Fargo, which is the only decent place in the state, but only to be overshadowed by the TV Series by the same name. You literally have to go to the second page of google to find anything on the actual city. I would mention more cities, but those are pretty much the only two big ones. It’s strange when the rest of the “big” cities people mention are smaller than Anderson, Indiana. What the hell is Anderson, Indiana? I don’t fucking know either. The best thing to do in North Dakota is to go to Theodore Roosevelt National Park, where you can climb a few rocks and gaze out into the dull skies and unvaried landscape. Have fun. What we need to do is take the burden off of South Dakota of sharing a name with it’s northern counterpart. Rename it to just Dakota. Then rename North Dakota to something more fitting like North Mississippi. Now, I know I’ve been harsh on North Dakota, so to make up for it, I’ll talk about just the good things about North Dakota for the rest of this rant. Thanks for reading.