Okay so this may sound like I’m messing with you but I promise you I’m not. I was recently diagnosed with a terminal disease called cyroaudiovascularmalexia. Basically if I don’t get enough blood flow to my ears they will slowly freeze and fall off, it will spread to my inner ear and brain. There’s no cure for it except one, I need to constantly warm my ears and the only material soft enough is the inner thighs of a pretty girl, so I need you to sit on my face for medical reasons