TOPIC: 🅶🆈🆀🅽🆀🅸🅼🅽🆄🅲🅵🆇🅲🆆🅴 \[CAESAR-K150\] \[CLASSIFIED\] DECLASSIFICATION DATE: 5/8/2018 Today we answer a question that has plagued humanity for far too long. A question so vexing, so utterly unanswerable, that the answer has eluded humanity since its conception. That question: Is Mewtwo’s “TAIL” actually a PENIS? To answer this question, we must delve into the deepest reaches of history and pull information from every source possible. This documents a topic that is not for the faint of heart. If you feel that such a truth would shatter your will, turn back now. Otherwise, carry on and have your eyes opened. To start off, let us review what we know about Mewtwo. It is a humanoid vertebrate creature, created as a result of an attempt to clone the pokemon Mew into a flawless life form. It has immense psychic abilities, surpassed by nothing and noone known to us as of today. Now let’s look at the details. Tails are structures found rarely ever outside of the vertebrate family, and penes are found in varieties across both vertebrates and invertebrates, so these criteria rule neither out right off the bat. A tail is an appendage to the torso of a specimen. It is used for many reasons by many species; they can be used for locomotion, to brush away pests such as fleas and flies, for balance, or, for some species, as a grasping tool. While mewtwo flies, its “tail” hangs loosely behind it, clearly not being used for locomotion or balance during the process. It is a psychic being that could simply erect a barrier around itself to block flies from bothering it; besides, it is not immediately clear whether or not Mewtwo is a mammal, decreasing the chances that it would require protection from fleas in the first place. Some species are able to detach their tails as a bait of sorts for predators; however, not only has Mewtwo not shown any capacity for this, but it would also not need to do so, as it is a being of unimaginable power. As it stands, there is no obvious use for this tail; if it is one, it is a vestigial structure, which would undermine the point of it being cloned as “the perfect being.” One thing that may be pointed out immediately is that Mewtwo’s “tail” is extremely large, about the length of its body head to toe. However, this means next to nothing, as length and girth vary greatly between species, as well as the proportions between these factors and height. Factors that define a penis include the ability to transfer semen, which we have no way of knowing; and being made primarily of erectile and connective tissue, which we have seen no proof of. As it stands, there is no definitive proof for it being a penis. Now we must take a look at how Mewtwo was created. As mentioned before, it resulted from a cloning process with Mew as the base. This leads to the conclusion that Mewtwo should be unable to have appendages and features that Mew does not, and as Mew clearly has a tail, this would seem to decide the argument altogether; however, that is not the case. If it was truly a clone, then Mewtwo would be either an exact copy of Mew, or a mangled deformation of it. This goes to show that my previous statement is not entirely correct. Mewtwo was not simply cloned from Mew; it was created via a process of DNA splicing with Mew as the base. And what else would have been spliced into its DNA, than either a human, or another pokemon? As has already been concluded, Mewtwo is significantly more humanoid than its naturally occurring counterpart; this suggests splicing with some humanoid creature, and this creature could very likely be one that has a penis. Up until now, we seemingly have no proof either way. We have done nothing but nullify arguments against either side, and show that both are possible. However, I have recently stumbled upon the last piece of damning evidence. Who wouldn’t get aroused when gazing upon the pinnacle of life, the paragon of beauty? Who wouldn’t find themselves taken by the action that perfectly embodies in and of itself what it means to be alive? If we could see Mewtwo gazing upon this act, or even performing it itself, we could know the answer once and for all, for a penis is made primarily of erectile tissue, which would surely be provoked in such a circumstance. After searching long and hard for the answer, I have finally found proof, once and for all, that Mewtwo’s “tail” is, in fact, a penis. T-Posing. Look at that tail – straight and erect. This most sacred of actions clearly generates too much joy to hold back, even for the honker of the perfect being. And who blames it? I certainly don’t. Let’s look at a few final pieces of evidence. One thing I did not mention is that tails are almost always an extension of the spinal cord, which is why they are almost exclusively found in vertebrates. Mewtwo’s tail grows out of the front of his body and curves behind, while the spinal cord is in the back of the body. This would suggest it not being a tail. One last argument against it being a penis is that the tail hardly grows in length when erect, if at all. This is a valid argument; however, while it is true that penes often grow in length when erect, the amount that they grow varies greatly across species. It may be an evolutionary feature; if that tail grew any longer, it might weigh him down. It is entirely possible that to circumvent this, Mewtwo’s penis contains just enough erectile tissue to erect it, but not enough to grow its length by any degree noticeable at a glance. This concludes my research. I have thought hard and long, day and night, over this question, and this is the conclusion I have finally arrived at. I hope you leave here enlightened, knowing that one more unsolvable question has been solved. Now to move onto the next one: Whether or not Lucas’ Rope Snake is actually a detachable, sentient dick. Grade A – mewtwo’s is clearly not a dick because It has no need for reproduction like me wtf have i stumbled on