The idiom ‘Best thing since sliced bread’ means that something is the best and most useful innovation or development invented for a long time. Sliced bread was first introduced in 1928 by Otto Frederick Rohwedder from Davenport, Iowa, who invented the first loaf-at-a-time bread slicing machine. However, the first record of the idiom is thought to be in 1952, where the famous comedian Red Skelton said in an interview with the Salisbury Times: “Don’t worry about television. It’s the greatest thing since sliced bread”. This is all well and good. However, the universe did not start in 1928. What I mean by this is that for a very long time, a universe existed without the known physical concept of sliced bread. To sum up what has been previously stated, something could have possibly been regarded as the best thing since bread. It is difficult to identify when bread was first invented. However, due to archaeological carbon-14 dating, we have concluded that bread was invented in Egypt around 8,000 B.C.E. To make the bread, early Egyptians used two disc shaped rocks to crush grain into a coarse powder. The two rocks, when used together, were referred to as a quern. The bread very closely resembled the modern types of bread that are the chapatis from India, or the tortilla from Mexico. Now, the universe also didn’t start at 8,000 B.C.E., This means that bread is the best thing since neolithic irrigation. Neolithic irrigation was invented shortly before the invention of bread. Humans spent months to years digging long canals off of the sides of the Middle Eastern Jordan River. They intended to redirect the flow of water from the river into their village farmland. This transitions us into our next topic. Neolithic irrigation is the best thing since the homosapien. Homosapian is very often shortened to the easier “human”. These creatures are mammals with the self-proclaimed highest intelligence of any species on Earth. They can be found on every continent and have a population of over 7,889,315,571 as of writing this. Humans have gone through many changes over the past 200,000 years. It is clear that humans are the best thing since the homo erectus. Modern humans originated in Africa within the past 200,000 years and evolved from their most likely recent common ancestor, homo erectus, which means upright man in Latin. homo erectus is an extinct species of human that lived between 1.9 million and 135,000 years ago. Furthermore, the homo erectus is the best thing since the paranthropus africanus. The human genus explains to us that humans come from an extremely long line of ancestors. One of the oldest that we know of is the paranthropus africanus. Let’s slow down for a second. Every great story must have it’s tragic happenings. Approximately 250,000,000 years ago, warming of the Earth’s climate and associated changes to oceans were the most likely causes of mass extinctions. At the end of the Permian Period, volcanic activity on a massive scale in what is now Siberia led to a huge outpouring of lava. In light of these horrible occurrences, we discovered that the paranthropus africanus was the best thing since the proterosuchus. The proterosuchus, thrinaxodon, and the lystrosaurus, were the three main groups of survivors of the mass extinctions. The proterosuchus was a mid-sized quadrupedal reptile with a sprawling stance that could reach a length of up to eleven feet. The thrinaxodon was a quadrupedal synapsid, meaning closely mammalian but not quite, and roughly the size of a modern era fox. The lystrosaurus is an extinct genus of herbivorous dicynodont therapsids that could grow to about three feet long. Using the global impact of the proterosuchus, we have found out that the proterosuchus was the best thing since the prehistoric dinosaur. The dinosaurs were a very large set of reptiles and birds. Non-bird dinosaurs lived between about 245 and 66 million years ago, in a time known as the Mesozoic Era. The Mesozoic Era was divided into three major time periods commonly known as the Triassic, Jurassic and Cretaceous periods. Modern day “dinosaurs” that had avian ancestors are around today as the modern chicken and similar birds.. We all know that dinosaurs did not just spawn, therefore mesozoic dinosaurs were the best thing since the tiktaalik roseae. The earliest fish potentially capable of walking on land was the tiktaalik roseae, a species of sarcopterygian that lived approximately 375,000,000 years ago, during the late Devonian Period, in what is today the Canadian Arctic. The journey continues. The tiktaalik roseae was the best thing since the neoproterozoic microscopic organism that started the cambrian explosion. To this day, it is still unknown as to how the very first organism started on Earth. The most popular theory is that it could have come from an asteroid colliding with Earth. If this is false, however, just imagine what humans could do with the knowledge of how to create living organisms from nothing. With no further evidence proving the latter to be true, we can say that the neoproterozoic microscopic organisms were the best thing since the Earth’s creation. Around 4,500,000,000 years ago, earth was a ball of molten lava as a result of the sun exploding. The Earth was large enough to keep a uniform shape because of the gravitational pull that it created for itself. Then, the Earth was hit with a cataclysmicly large asteroid that was near the size of the planet Mars. a large piece of Earth broke off and became the moon. This begs the thought, the Earth and Moon’s formation is the best thing since the first star. The way that the first star was created is a complicated process. In the beginning, there was nothing in the universe. Nothing existed. In fact, one could argue that the universe also did not exist because for something to exist, it has to have a location, or at least a preposition in accordance with something else that also exists. This means that since the universe was the only thing that “existed” it also didn’t because there was nothing else to compare its location to. Where in the universe is or was the universe? Nobody knows because it does not make any sense. It is unknown what is outside of the universe, if there is anything at all. Tangent over. Stars are made of mostly hydrogen and helium. Stars are the best thing since hydrogen and helium. Wait a second. Before we have stars, the universe is just invisible gas in space. How did this happen? Well, hydrogen and helium are the best things since protons, neutrons, and electrons. Before matter, there was a bunch of protons and neutrons floating around in small groups. The electrons wanted to join in with them, but couldn’t because of their dangerously high thermal energy. To put this in layman’s terms, the universe was a bajillion degrees and the electrons were moving so fast that if they joined, they would near instantly rip the atom apart. We can get even smaller. Protons, neutrons, and electrons are the best things since quarks. You may be wondering, what is a quark? A quark is a subatomic particle, meaning smaller than atoms. Quarks are still a grand mystery to quantum physicists. We know that there are different types of quarks. They are up, down, charm, strange, top, and bottom. For now, these are just placeholder names. As a fun fact, these types of quarks are called flavors. We are able to distinguish different flavors of quarks from one another based on how they move and behave. However, we are not entirely sure of what they all do and how they impact the universe. Quarks are the best thing since the Big Bang. The Big Bang is a theory that all of the matter and energy in the entire universe all came into existence in one instance of time. This theory is still nothing more than that. A theory. It is the most widely accepted, but still fully comprehended by no single person. The Big Bang, when it happened, was probably the best thing ever.