Hey guys, I was actually a Production Assistant back in the early 2000s. Back when my dreams were still alive (sigh). I was young and naive though, I had finally landed a job on the big hit show, Arrested Development. Sure, I was standing around just getting coffee most of the time, BUT, DAMN, I was too happy to even get to see the filming of a show. After a couple of months just kind of getting the groove and rhythm of the job, things began to change… It was a relatively cold day (California) I walked in with a light jacket on and the regular coffees for the cast, I went around handing them out. Everyone was normal… almost everyone… I handed it to Mr. Will Arnett, Immediately I could see his face was different than normal, He had a sadness about him. “Thanks”, He said. I was confused, he never thanks me for the coffee, something was definitely up. I went about the day as normal the filming began and things seemed for the most part fine. We got up to one scene (tunnel of love indubitably) and broke for lunch. I stood there watching Jason Bateman go to the food table, grabbing his favorite (Mac and Cheese) he looked over at me “Can’t watch those carbs all the time” he did his signature smile and went back to grab more food. Suddenly, Will Arnett burst out of the bathroom, everyone heard it because he slammed the door against the wall with such force, even Thor, the god of lightning with Mjolnir would be terrified. Jason “Hey Will, how are you doing?” Will stomped up to Jason Bateman towering over him (Will is 6’5″ while Jason is 5’6″) Jason stared up at him. Will proceeded to grab Jason’s testicular area and shouted “I’M THE BANANA GRABBER I GRAB BANANAS!”. The entire crew laughed except Jason, shame was written all over his face, He quickly threw Will’s hand off him. Jason smashed his food on the floor (He never turns down a meal) and yelled “WHAT THE HELL WILL?”. Everyone got quiet, luckily Tony Hale came in to calm things down. He pulled his cigar out of his mouth and stood in between the two titans. “Alright, Alright everyone, calm down, We’ve had a long day of filming and we’re all stressed. Can you give it a rest?”. Will and Jason eyed each other both with anger. Will pointed his finger at Jason “Fuck you!”. Jason’s face began to contort, he pushed Tony Hale aside who began screaming, then Jason jumped on Will Arnett and began an all-out boy fight. Jeffery Tambor punched Jessica Walter across the face, her teeth fell out and she bled on the floor. Then Jeff came over to Jason and Will. (Jeff is actually 7’2″ taller than both of them) He picked up Will and Jason by the collars and held them at arm’s length apart, neither could hit each other so they kind of flailed their arms in the air trying. Jeff in his domineering tone “Enough you horse’s asses, We’ve had a long day of filming and we’re all tired now quit it.” Something registered in both of their faces, they stopped looking so angry. I sat there watching so glad we had Jeffery here to help calm things out, he was the mediator of the group. Jeffery lowered them both and they appeared to have made up, they cried and hugged, all was well. RIIING! The bell for shooting to start sounded and it was time to get back to work. I sat there watching my favorite show being made, I wondered what the actors knew that I didn’t. I was scared and suddenly my dreams of show business were shot, I never recovered.