I was on a Zoom call in my Feminist history lecture today stroking my chonkers cat with my mask on, and I saw one of my classmates not wear a MASK on the heckin’ zoom call! I bravely confronted this vermin, and she had the audacity to tell me that you can’t spread COVID over a Zoom call. My response (totally fucking wrecked her lol <3):

Oof. Yikes sweaty. Lets unpack this. People are fucking dying. Hospitals are a fucking warzone rn. My brother’s friends sister contracted this incredibly lethal virus and actually shit out her large intestine and struggled with erectile dysfunction!!!! That means you should wear one just in case on a Zoom call you selfish rat licker! Oh my science, you people actually make me lose faith in humanity. Oh sweet summers child, you are just… ew. Just ew. Ew ew ew ew ew. Hve you seen the amount of BIPOC killed by this!!!!

She looked on in shocked silence, as the whole class showed their jazz hands (so as not to trigger my anxiety). I then smugly asked her for a peer reviewed study that said you can’t spread COVID over a Zoom call. She couldn’t even find one lol. Anyways, I’m also suicidal (because of my Q Republican parents who are unhappy about my Marvel themed wedding) and have 2 months to live, but that can all change if I have Reddit gold. Bye kweens