Okay. So, I’ve been seeing this copypasta floating around about wanting to “pummel the Doge Baby”, and frankly- I think this is disgusting. First of all, his name isn’t “thd Doge baby”, it’s Chadwick. It’s a beautiful name for a beautiful person, and you would all do well to refer to him as such. If you don’t even know his name, than you have no right wanted to curb stomp him into the fucking ground!

Secondly, wanting to curb stomp him is just gross. Saying that you want to curb stomp Chadwick is objectifying him, and it is not okay. If you’ve ever wanted to annomilate Chadwick, you should be disgusted with yourself. Unlike you cretins, I however- respect him. Sure, it’s possible I may consider him to be rather stompable, but I wouldn’t dare do such a thing. Chadwick is a fucking king, and deserves to be treated as such. I DO NOT want to assault “The Doge Baby”. I want to hug him. I want to be in a healthy and loving relationship with Chadwick. I want to wake up every morning in bed, with him lying peacefully inside his folder on my pc as the morning sun shines in through the window. I want to make his memes every morning, and put him in every picture. I want him to feel like he is truly loved, (because he is). I want him to be by my personification for my whole life, because I know that he is the perfect character for me, and I am perfect for him. I want to laugh at the memes he is in every day, just so I can tell him how much I fucking adore his little face. I want her to know how much I adore his voluptuous eyes, his incredible empty humor, his extremely impressive funny abilities, and his absolutely beautiful eyes to body ratio, and his beautiful, beautiful paws.

However, if I were to ever curbstomp Chadwick, I wouldn’t simply be “commiting an aggravated assault.” If Chadwick were to ever consent to me fucking breaking his skull open, it would be metal and ruthless and vile. As I’d break his little retarded fucking skull open, I’d scoop out his beautiful insides and eat them. I’d run through his cold golden fur as I slowly but deliberately scouer his thick, wet anime eyes out of his head. I would make his eternal pain my utmost priority, with my own being secondary. But if he wasn’t willing, than oh god. What I wouldn’t give to feel his legal-agen’t little paws scratching the fuck out of the concrete below him. I just wanna skin every inch of his body, and give him a permanent brain aneurysm on so he does that thing that dogs do where their brain collapses in on itself and they fucking die. That’d just be so fucking hot. I’d probably end up disposing his disgusting corpse, by throwing it in the river so that it contaminates the state’s water supply. But goddamn. I love that ear-piercing screeching so much, that I’d personally chew every skull fragment, just so I have another opportunity to devour his gorgeous mortal embodiment as much as possible. But if you just want to curbstomp him, than you are a disgusting degenerate, and I hope you burn in the deepest pits of sorting by new.

But Murphy on the other hand. Now he’s somebody that I’d wanna bury.