Back in grammar school when we had penis fights, piss contests, races and butt sex, we could all come together over one thing. One day when the gates were lifted and the all the grubby gremlin children ran for lunch, I found myself sitting with my posse at this snot covered table in the front of the cafeteria, we were bored as shit and the wranglers were nowhere in sight. Then it happened, some kid dropped half is kiwi. Next thing you know someone dumped there yogurt on it for the sheer rush of adrenaline, once that happened kids began to throw pees at it, dump milk on it, glob potatoes at it and launch lunch meat at the abused kiwi. The pile began to grow to the size of a small wombat and the shit storm continued, at this point kids dumped their entire food trays on the floor in the general vicinity of the the thing. When we ran out of food it really got interesting. By this point the whole cafeteria was traveling by to present their offerings under the table. Kids became delusional with the thrill of this event and without second thought unloaded wet steamy shits onto the pile with villainous grins. A thick stench overtook the school as the pile grew and grew shit upon upon shit, snot upon piss, clumps of hair and disembodied limbs, just to think there was a kiwi in the bottom. The teachers could do nothing to over power the children that had banned together, if they tried they would just be added to the sticky pile and never seen again. It became a religion and kids offered all they could give to the pile. The school was quarantined and the what was left of the students had to be airlifted out. I don’t know what happened to my friends that day but I never saw them again. I was able escape and I’m now putting my life on the line to tell the story of kiwi years latter. I just hope they don’t find me. Long live the filthy kiwi!