Peeing in a bottle is the objectively superior peeing method

Okay people, hold your boos and listen to me. All I’m asking for is an open mind and an honest view of something very near and dear to us all – disposing of bodily fluids.

So, let’s ask ourselves, what makes for the perfect peeing experience ?

I suggest we can reasonably break it down into a few general categories – Hygiene, Ease Of Use, Accessibility, Environmental Impact and Cost.

Now, lets see what the traditional toilet versus the superior peeing instrument – the trusty Bottle, offer you in each of those categories.

**Hygiene**

From splashes off the porcelain to going double stream and peeing all over everything, we all know of the many disgusting experiences your regular bowl will bring you. But your Bottle becomes a fully contained environment once your soldier enters in(do make sure you choose a bottle with wide enough opening), allowing no pee particles from escaping, solves all double stream issues and at *no point* has your hand to come in contact with your dick. Easily disposed from at any point in time in your regular trash. This round is a no contest.

**Ease Of Use**

From countless buttons to endless repairs to debates over which way should the toilet seat be, we all know of the many headaches a modern toilet will bring you. Ever had to repair a bottle ? I thought so.

**Accessibility**

Oh, you have to pee, but the only place you can do that is your little very special room that can be dozens or thousands of feet away ? With the Bottle your toilet can be wherever you are.

**Environmental Impact**

Wasting gallons of precious, drinkable water every time you pee ? Shame on you. Just reuse bottles you already bought. They can also last you a long time if properly cared for if you wish to go the extra mile.

**Cost**

Bathrooms cost tens of thousands of dollars. A Bottle costs less than a dollar.

So please, remember you loyal Bottle next time the urge calls. Remember it’s waiting for you every time you bump your toe, stumbling in the darkness of night. Remember it could’ve been at your side every time you looked like you peed your pants because you shook too hard. Remember it every time you are frantically picking keys, sprinting towards your house, praying the flood gates will hold.

Cause it might just be what you’ve always been looking for.