This semester I went to take a dump in level 1 library bathrooms. Just for some context, I just had a butter chicken for lunch and was still digesting the burritos from dinner two nights ago. I had been holding this shit in for probably three days now, because every time I take a dump I orgasm loudly and with the whole stay-at-home thing I didn’t really want my family hearing my moans from inside the bathroom. I’ve subjected myself to a lengthy training program to improve my ability to hold in shits in the hope that I won’t have to poo until next semester. Ironically, this training program has increased the strength and duration of poop orgasms to the point where my muscles quiver so intensely that the poo just rockets into the toilet water and splashes all over my bum, like a built in bidet.

Anyways, I took this massive dump in the level 1 toilets at the library did my moaning etc. then went to flush the toilet and it was clogged. I didn’t really know what to do about it, so I just left it there and wrote ‘Sorry’ on the wall with the remaining poo on my hands.

I’m hoping the cubicle is fixed and a larger toilet bowl is installed in time for semester 2 so I can relieve myself graciously again.