Six months after winning Mega Millions, I am sitting in a nursing home. All of my teeth have been removed, and I need a walker to get around (due to breaking my ankle after falling). My wife has had my name legally changed to Donna. My D cup breasts are enclosed in a white Playtex 18 hour bra 24/7. Because I was very frugal during our marriage, My wife has found a very low rent nursing home for me to spend the next 30 years or so. It does have an old fashioned beauty shop when I get my hair and nails done once a week. My hair is dyed gray and is styled in a heavily lacquered style. My dentures are always loose and I spend most of my days watching re-runs of Murder She Wrote and the Golden Girls while wearing an old ladies dress that the nurses call a duster . I have gained almost 40 pounds and my lower arms look like bat wings. My thighs rub together as I shuffle around. I am short, but I find myself hunched over my walker most of the day. Black velcro orthopedic shoes have replaced my stylish shoes from Nordstroms. Clip on earrings constantly pinch my ears. Sometimes the male orderlies bring me ice cream after they use me for sex. I have complained to the head nurse about the late night visits by the male staff, but she insists that I am confused. My wife is paying her ( and the orderlies) to make my life a living hell. Every few months she stops in to see me. She (and her stud boyfriend) spend most of their time traveling the world while I spend my days as a Jizz Jar for the employees at this dump.