For context, I’m a U.S. High School Student.

So about a month and a week ago, while in class, a black kid came up to me when I was in the middle of the crowd and out of the blue gave me a “N Word Pass”. If you’re not aware, N Word Passes are passes that if given to a white person, the said white person can now say the “N” word once.

So, after being given the N Word Pass, and told by all the people around to “Say it! Say it!”, I make the foolish decision to say the word under my breath, and as quiet as I could. I realize how much of a moron I was in that instant, but everyone seems to move on after a few seconds and so I forget about.

A minute later, perhaps, I feel a sharp pain as I get slapped in the back of the head by a classmate who sits on the other side of the room. One of the people who was standing by me when I said the N Word is notably grinning, watching the exchange. Later, I found out he told these two black girls that I had said the N Word. I get slapped again, this time by the other girl, and I apologize and try to explain what I did.

The week after I said, whispers went around that “I Had Said the N Word”, and I was fine with this punishment. I shouldn’t have said it, and I was an idiot for doing so. Eventually, it died down and everyone forgot about it, and I thought that I was in the clear.

However, last week, in the middle of a silent, busy class a “friend” yells, “[MY NAME] SAID THE N WORD!”. Another student from the other side of the room, who already knew about it, responds, “[MY NAME] SAID THE N WORD?”. I would like to remind you that this is within earshot of a teacher. Then, a chorus around the room of people trying to be funny saying, “HE SAID THE N WORD?” or “[MY NAME], WHY DID YOU SAY THE N WORD?”. Luckily, the teacher didn’t hear or seem to care. Unluckily, this has happened a few times now since last week. Once in the cafeteria, once in band, and another time in math class while the teacher was teaching. So far, no punishment has been given to me.

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My point is this. I understand that saying the “N Word” is bad, I’ve acknowledged that myself and learned from my mistake. But students wanting to get laughs, and not observing the seriousness of the offense I’ve committed, and think yelling something particular reputation-damaging is funny are just as bad as I am. It was over said and done with but these people had to be class clowns.

If they keep this up, then eventually I’ll have to see the principle and then it’ll go on record. Besides, this is a black ghetto school, and I’ve already been threatened a few times by students that do realize how serious the offense was. The students trying to be funny are hurting my lifelong reputation and health.