When I was just twenty I had a girlfriend who used to take me to stay overnight every Friday at her married sister’s place. I never met the husband who was a chef on a cruise ship and was rarely home. I did know that he had a reputation for being extremely jealous and violent towards her, and that might have constrained my behaviour towards the older girl more than I realised at the time.

After my girlfriend had left for her Saturday morning job I would usually be left to have breakfast with the sister, whom I thought very attractive, and it was over breakfast one day that she casually remarked about the huge unflushable turd she had produced a couple of days before, which she had had to break up with the toilet brush before it would go down. Of course I was in turmoil at this revelation out of the blue but I was certain that neither she nor my girlfriend could have the slightest clue about my secret interest, so I could only guess that she was testing the waters and that maybe she also enjoyed toilet games. Until that moment I had thought I was completely alone in my scat obsessed world.

Of course, being naïve and happily enmeshed with her younger sister, it never crossed my mind at the time that she was desperately lonely and fancied me, but I managed to find something non-committal to say about her turd problem, treating it as an interesting and amusing story. Apparently that was enough to encourage her because the next week she excused herself after breakfast and came back a few minutes later, sat down and told me that she had ‘done another one and would I like to see it’? Still trying to contain my excitement, I managed a light-hearted laugh and said, ‘why not, I’ve never seen a girl’s whopper before’. Of course I was jelly inside as I stood and made my way to the bathroom.

It certainly was a thing to behold and she came up behind me as I stood there in wonder, placed her hands on my waist and guided me to join her on our knees the better to examine her pride and joy. On our knees before it definitely seemed to be the appropriate position! I desperately wanted to lift it out though I didn’t dare but I reckon I must have been pretty transparent. We managed a stilted conversation about the merits of her creation while my erection threated to push the toilet bowl in her direction. She must have been fully aware of the strain on my zip.

After a while she asked me a little mischievously if I wanted to flush it and I idiotically blurted out that I just couldn’t do that to it. At that moment she must have known I was completely hooked, and for the next few months this became a regular thing. She told me that she was saving a two or three day turd each week for us to share, and after a while I was eagerly fishing them out to hold tenderly and to admire more closely while she beamed happily like a proud mother from the other side of the bowl.

Eventually I said something about wishing I could take one home so that it wouldn’t have to be flushed away, but then I moaned that it was too wet and it was impossible anyway when I was catching a bus home. The next Saturday she astonished me when she offered to do without the toilet and after producing a plastic box she had bought, she lifted her skirt, pulled down her knickers and pushed out another beauty into my trembling hands. I thought my erection was going to burst my trousers and at that moment the rest of my life lay before me as one long anti-climax. How could it possibly get better than this?

No one else on the bus seemed to notice the faint pooey odour leaking from the box in my rucksack and I had a wonderful time when I got it home. Imagine if you will gentle reader, my complete misery when after only two more of these delightful take-away weekends, the whole menage fell apart abruptly and I lost both girls. Oddly enough we had never even so much as kissed and neither of us ever made any kind of move on the other; I suppose she had accepted early on that I was spoken for. All the same I had one of the most intense sexual relationships of my life with this lovely woman. Looking back now I imagine she must have been getting a lot from it too, else she would not have contrived the whole episode like that.