So, basically *clears throat*, I think that… *looks around to see if anybody is there*… Trump Bad. *Thousands of people suddenly appear in front of my house, applauding me and chanting my name*
*Gets text from Crush* “Hey, so I heard that you said Trump bad… Wanna maybe go watch a movie at my place later? You can even stay overnight if you want ;)”
*phone ringing* “Hello, can you hear me? This is your father. I know I wasn’t there for you when you were a child, but I want to say that I’m really proud of you.”
For the first time in my life, it feels like I’m being loved. A single tear drops down my eye, as my new life as a happy and successful person begins.