“Heh, so you have any girlfriends or something?” That’s none of your fucking business you absolute failure of a humanoid. The answer has been no for the last fucking 23 years of my life and yet you repeat the same bloody question every single time we see each other like once a year, I wish I saw you less often you cockroach. You don’t give a flying dick about whether I have a girlfriend or not, you want to see me embarrassed when I answer your absolute oxygen-waste of a question, you know I’ve never had one and you want to feel better about yourself because being a virgin in your 20’s is the only mistake that your 50-year old midlife crisis-arse has not made in its lamentable lifetime. You don’t give a cunt, nobody should care, nobody should ever know if I get a girlfriend. Don’t try to pass it for a playful question to break the ice with your relative, your intentions are clear and I want to punch you in the teeth every time you ask, congratu-fucking-lations you get to feel better about yourself for one more year.