-A girl in my homeroom likes cheddar cheese on swiss cheese, but doesn’t like just swiss cheese because it has holes in it and she thinks not having complete cheese coverage on a sandwich goes against the laws of sandwich making.

-The “emo kid”, in science isn’t emo, he just wears black all the time because it makes him sweat and he is trying to lose weight.

-The weird girl in English isn’t weird, she just talks funny because her tongue is too small.

-3 girls in math have a crush on the same guy, and are competing for his affection by seeing who can compliment him the most.

-Said guy has no idea and thinks girls would like him more if he spoke like Arnold Schwarzenegger.

-Martin the custodian cannot be affected by weird smells and spends his weekends watching telenovelas with his mother.

-Pretty sure the algebra teacher can only teach Algebra and has completely forgotten how to do calculus.

-Lunch Lady #1 bought a microwave to reheat food for kids who come into the cafeteria after football practice.

-Three guys on the football team are all the same height and told each other that if they ever got taller they would cut of the bottom of their feet to stay the same height (idk how to feel about this.)

-One of the cheerleaders wants to be a stripper, I have no idea why

-Another one of the cheerleaders is having a feud with her dad, apparently he wants to go on a fishing trip, and she hates the smell of fish

-Guy from science doesn’t like frogs because of trauma (he won’t tell me what)

-Girl on gymnastic team likes telling people to fuck off whenever they try to start a conversation (or maybe just me)

-90 percent of the Bois in the locker room think Vin Diesel would get see destroyed by John Cena in a fight

-Guy in history thinks Usain Bolt cut his penis off so he can run faster.

-Girl in science wrote a 150k word twilight fanfic

-Kid in homeroom says he has the biggest dick east of the Mississippi, refused to elaborate and only said that.

-Girl in math has 15 gerbils, named them all deviation of ly (Kelly, Telly, Nelly)

-Nobody in science class knows how to use a dropper

-girl in homeroom is definitely a lesbian, caught her staring at a cheerleaders cleavage

-janitor got a divorce

-Secretary has a briefcase full of pens

-one of the cheerleaders likes cosplay, showed me pictures of her Hinata cosplay

-guy in math says that Jeff Bezos could be Santa Claus but chooses not too

-girl in homeroom has a domination kink, only reason I know is because she drew ball gags and handcuffs in her notebook

-one of my friends thinks that there is a pokemon sex offender registry for people that fuck their Pokemon

-99 percent sure homeroom teacher sits all of the girls in the front because she doesn’t want to smell the boys

-Nobody in the locker room knows what Pikmin is

-Two girls in the cafeteria regularly bet cookies on the outcome of UFC matches

-One of the special Ed kids likes green, which is why he’s not allowed outside at recess because he just rolls in the grass

-couple in math hold hands under the desk (they think nobody notices but everyone does)

-Guy in science has brother who lives in the basement, smokes weed and plays guitar hero (my idol)

-edgy girl in cafeteria only listens to artists with under 50 followers on SoundCloud

-guy on track team is filthy rich, his dad has two yachts

-apparently kid in math’s dad arrested the pedo principal of a nearby school (look up dawson Elementary principal)

-guy in math thinks that Joe Biden is a sleeper agent sent by the Soviet union to rally supporters in the US so people will donate money to help build a mech-godzilla that they will unleash upon Hong Kong to fuck up the police and bring back the ming dynasty.

-And finally, my girlfriend only refers to cucumbers as raw pickles because that’s what her dad told her they were called