A libertarian free-market Austrian capitalist professor and stockbroker was teaching a class on Ludwig von Mises, known reactionary.

”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Ayn Rand and accept that she was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Jesus Christ!”

At this moment, a brave, Marxist-Leninist-Maoist revolutionist holding a Cuban cigar in his mouth and who had aided the Bolsheviks in a former life, understood the revolutionary necessity of the Great Purge and fully supported the truth of the labour theory of value stood up and held up a watch.

”Who built this watch, pinhead?”

The arrogant professor smirked in a quite Bourgeois manner and smugly replied “The watch company, you stupid Communist”

”Wrong. It was made by the workers of the factory. If it had been made by the watch company, as you say…. then it wouldn’t exist, because capitalists don’t do real work.”

The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Atlas Shrugged. He stormed out of the room crying those bourgeois crocodile tears. The same tears the bourgeoisie cry for the “oppressed rich” (who today live in such luxury that most own five houses) when people object to them trying to extract unearned wealth from the deserving workers. There is no doubt that at this point our professor wished he had stood against the Capitalist system, joined a Socialist Party, and become more than a libertarian professor. He wished so much that he had a gun to shoot himself with, but his very own company was in control of those!

The students applauded and all registered Communist that day and accepted Marx as their lord and savior. An eagle named “Anti-Imperialism” flew into the room and perched atop a Red Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The communist manifesto was recited several times, and Lenin himself showed up and formed a vanguard.

The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died from inferior healthcare and his body was used as fertiliser on his company’s crops.

Workers of the world, unite!

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Source: http://pastebin.com/HGcRftdQ (edited)