# Disclaimer: this text was randomly generated and I can therefore not be held accountable for any rule-breaking text that exist purely as a figment of a moderator’s dirty imagination.

It was the day taht I herid my new miad. He was a ctue fmeoby. In atddoiin to his miad siut, he wroe cat eras and a frury tial. Snice the tial hnug at a raeiltlevy low aglne, it was vrey esay to dcudee the meothd in wichh it was athctead. His frsit, rteelvilay silpme tsak was to mkae me cfoefe, I sefepciid taht I dseerid mlik in the cofefe. Hwoeevr, wehn the ceffoe cmae to me, it had no mlik at all. Wehn I pnteoid it out to him, he bsuelhd and iedlmmatiey srttead winlkag twoard the rfaiotrreger. Atefr he oepned it, he keelend to chcek the boottm selevhs of the fdrgie—pbualmsrey whree he seorts his own mlik. Benig a shlgltiy ictennpmeot miad, he flaied to ltaoce the mlik. Whlie slitl kenileng, he sowlly rtteaod traodws me wihle snyiag: “Umm… Wrhee do you keep the mi—” He sepotpd tnkaig; he cluod not hlep but ntocie taht I was sndaintg oevr him, puntitg my bugle on dlaipsy. His hdans tibnlremg, he swlloy raecehd out to lfit up his sirkt, rleiveang his own bneor. I hled him and carerid him to my bed. He leid dwon and we rbebud our ckocs tgoeethr. Tehn, wehn prpiareng for sx, he roemved his tial pulg. “Umm… Wehre do I put tihs?” I gnltey took it form his slgsiirpnruy fnmieine hdnas and puleggd my auns wtih it. He lfeitd his lges up oevr his haed, and we srtated hanvig sx in the miaosrsiny piootsin. Aeftr a wlihe, we cmae. Sncie he was in the miansorisy piosotin, his ccok was ptoenid tdrwoas his fcae. Trfhreeoe, he cmae on his cehek. I lekicd it off, fnllaiy gintteg to drnik—or rhtaer eat—my mlik

# Disclaimer: this is not to be used to treat, diagnose, or cure any mental condition and was made purely for the personal entertainment of the user.