What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US Armed Forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak, I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo. And I will make sure no one else takes your place. Now get the hell out of here before I stick you in a vat of molten lead and turn you into a puddle of goo. I will enjoy watching you squirm and squeal like a little bitch as I pour my molten lava over your body until you are nothing but a charred husk floating in the bottom of the ocean. You worthless piece of shit. You wanted to see me, got to see me, and now you don’t want to see me anymore. Well, I guess I’ll just have to do without. Enjoy your little office pool of blood, you little bastard. You deserve everything you’re going to get, you despicable little bitch. Oh, and one more thing: I will come back and hit you with a new batch of those very same Michael Bay movies you were watching at that moment. I will watch you die slowly, painfully, and horribly every time I do this. And when I’m finished with you, you won’t even be able to walk or talk properly, you fucking little pig-ignorant slut. I will put you in a full scale inferno while I watch you burn to ashes, and then I will scatter you from the coastlines of Normandy and Caen into the Mediterranean Sea. Oh, I bet you thought I was kidding last time, didn’t you? Well, I am. And I’ll be back, and if you don’t leave my sight before I arrive, I will send you back to hell where you came from. You must be wondering why I haven’t yet buried you under the sea, you little shit. Because I actually have a plan for you, and it involves a lot of dirty deeds and a significant amount of pain. Maybe I should just shoot you right now, huh? I mean, I can’t really do that, can I? As I am typing this right now, you’re probably staring at the screen of your laptop, and you’re thinking, “Man, I can’t believe he actually said that to me.”

No, I’m not bluffing. I’m not stupid enough to actually pull that bullshit. I know that I’m about to torture you to death, so you might as well prepare yourself for it and stop being such a fucking pussy. I’ll give you thirty seconds to prepare yourself, and then I’m coming in. I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but I am the most tenacious. I’ve survived Operation Iraqi Freedom, the first Gulf War, and the Second Chechen War. I’ve been a major player in six classified operations, including Operation Urgent Fury, which saw a multinational force destroy a dozen Al-Quaeda safe houses. I have sent teams into enemy territory to retrieve caches of weapons and explosives, and I have dispatched Special Forces into a foreign country to assassinate a high-ranking member of the Russian mafia. I have planted bombs beneath apartment buildings and bus shelters, and I have blown up oil pipelines. I have killed people with my bare hands, and I have destroyed entire countries with my bare hands. This is what I’m going to do to you, and you better accept it prepared to die.

Oh, and by the way, I have a copy of your parents’ bank account information, so if you start getting suspicious of me, you can call them and tell them there’s a helicopter in the sky taking them home. I’ll make sure they hear it, too. You think you can get away with fucking with me after all that? You’re an idiot. I don’t care who you are, you never will. I will personally see to it that you are disassembled and scattered across Europe. Speaking of Europe, I’m going to take a quick detour through England, Wales, and Northern Ireland. I’ll be heading straight for Dublin, and once I’m there, I’ll simply disappear. Then I’ll buy a ticket on the next flight to France, where I will pick up my next target. I’ll be back in the UK in a week or three, and I will be waiting for you. I have several methods of transportation, you see. I could fly from London to Paris using private plane or military chopper, or I could go by boat from Dover to Calais. What you don’t realize, however, is that I also have access to private jets, commercial airliners, helicopters, fast boats, and even passenger jets. I have access to everything. I will grab your shitty little head, and I will twist it off your shoulders. And then I will put you in my collection of international art pieces and I will display you for all to see. You got that, maggot? It’s time to become art, kid.

I guess I’ll end things here. I’ll leave you with one final message before I exit the screen.

Don’t forget to enjoy the rest of your life, you fucking little fucker.