Fuck pi.

What a joke of a circle constant.

Math is supposed to be easy, beautiful, elegant.

Pi makes math look ugly.

Definition: a circle is a collection of all points a given distance away from a center.

A radius pointing forth like a taut string in the sand.

It draws a curved path as far as its shadow in the sun will take it.

You watch it spin and marvel at its simple beauty,

and the crashing waves,

and the sea birds’ calls,

and your lover in your arms.


But Archimedes said “fuck the radius!”
Pi is the ratio of a circle’s diameter to its circumference.

Diameter?? Who fucking cares about diameters Archimedes??

Maybe if you need to jump over a fucking pit,

BUT NOT IN THE HUMAN RACE’S

THEORETICAL SPACE OF MATH.

Fuck diameters.

A circle is defined by its radius, not its diameter.

Why the fuck is the circle constant based on the diameter?

Why is 1π in radians a half circle? Who cares about half circles?

Why is a whole circle 2π radians?

NO. UNNECESSARY CONVERSIONS ARE UGLY.

ONE PIE SHOULD BE ONE PI.

No one cares.

It’s not like they’ll need a correct circle constant in the real world.

I care.

I know you care too.

Every March 14th is agony.

Pi is fucking wrong.

I’m sorry.

I got angry.

I just need them to learn.

If they learn the truth,

the true circle constant,

only then can they be forgiven.

Fuck pi.

Fuck Pi Day.

Fuck Archimedes.

Fuck this world.