Yes sir, when you finally get your first woman into bed with you consensually, you get the feeling something isn’t quite right when there’s a visible bulge in her panties. As she takes them off, you see that it almost hangs to her knees and the first thing to come to mind are soggy old-man balls. Even worse is how you start feeling insecure about your own manhood at the sight of it.
She asks that you start sucking it. You are at first confused, since you’re pretty sure from all the hentai you’ve seen that the women do the sucking. She lies down on the bed and you kneel in front of her exposed groin. Realizing this is your only chance to not die a virgin, you comply. She starts getting angry and yelling she doesn’t feel anything, and commands you to start chewing. You are so caught off-guard by the demand you don’t give it a second thought and clamp down.
Immediately you wish you hadn’t. The texture is like the worst serving of steak you’ve ever had. It’s as if the steak was made entirely of knotted veins, chewy and hard. It barely fits into your mouth. The taste is also equally revolting, bringing salty coins to mind and the smell is like iron and rotten fish. You start to feel faint as she yells at you to bite harder.
A deep animal urge overtakes you and you continue the dark deed as if in a trance. You see yourself violently biting and shaking the piece of flesh like a hungry wolf upon catching a fleeing rabbit. But this primal rage is not one of a hungry predator, but a cornered prey.
Due to your unsteeled virgin nerves and shaky knees, you begin to fall onto your back. The panic compels your oldest parts of the brain to tighten your every muscle, including your jaws. The snatch meat begins to stretch and goes taut, like a thick piece of rope, aching and groaning from your weight. You are only inches away from the floor, and the queef quarters have served well as a makeshift bungee cord. But what comes down must come up.
At this point the woman is screeching in some godless mix of pain and ecstasy. You only now realize your mistake, and let go. What comes next is a sound unlike any you have ever heard in your life, like someone cracking a whip made of flesh, followed by a loud, wet, disgusting SLURP. The meat curtains were pulled to their farthest point they have ever been and getting up, you see that they had retracted back into the woman. Due to the immense physical forces in play, she unfortunately did not survive the process. The ricocheting smelly flaps disintegrated every organ up to her brain. Her demise was near instantaneous, but not before feeling the orgasm of her life.
And you still didn’t score.