So… I wanted to restrict myself from having a Grindr/Tinder date that gets realized in 5 minutes and told myself to be patient and get to know someone beforehand and a bit better. Which I did. We talked 3 weeks before meeting.

We had a nice dinner and started watching a movie. Finished it and went to the shower together. His big one got up, so did mine. We sucked each other and wanted to finish it off romantically in the bedroom.

As he didn’t have time to prepare and we’re both vers top, I told him I’d be ready and prior to his arrival I cleaned myself as per the guide from one blog that people often post here (with a nice infographic).

I washed it several times, deeply, tried a dildo, waited for farts, tried it out, played, cleaned agan, did everything to make sure IT WAS C-L-E-A-N.

We got in the bed and he admitted he has problems with overthinking or something similar and that sometimes he can’t get it up again. We tried for 2-3 hours and there was nothing.

I prepared my butt for nothing but wasn’t mad as I really liked our honesty and the way we talked. We said goodbye to each other the next morning and said to stay in contact.

Apparently I did something wrong with preparation.

It’s 11.30 AM now on a Saturday morning and I went to the hardware store to buy something for a weekend project.

I randomly got a weird tingling sensation in my pants. And all of a sudden, boom. A light brown watery mixure right down the pants. Accompanied by 4-5 farts. In front of the whole, fucking, store.

I officially lost it. It’s extremely funny and I laughed to myself too.