I am writing anonymously because for about 5+ years or so, I had noticeable anal leakage. I am SO embarrassed to even admit it because I had originally thought it was just a sign of age or some other bodily breakdown or some other sort of self-inflicted cause. Hence, the anonymity.

You’d go anonymous, too. Try thinking about sex or physical intimacy when you have anal leakage. Intimacy is out. Try being around people at the end of a long day. You never can tell if anyone else can tell, but I could. And I knew I had to avoid close (physical) encounters. Life was getting shitty….

However, after all these years, I can now state that I am reasonably certain that it was the US government that caused my anal leakage. Because I don’t have anal leakage now, and I think I finally figured out why! After 5+ years of it!

I am talking about how the US government (FDA or whatever) allows the use of cellulose in consumable food products. Cellulose is wood! I was eating government allowed wood and I’m sure my body eventually gave me anal leakage!

Having a good laugh? Are you finished calling me a nut? Do you think I am a conspiracy theorist?

For over 5 years I slowly seemed to be leaking more, and often had increasing symptoms of other gut related problems. Nervous bowel or irritable bowel or sometimes having to hit the toilet 4 or 5 times a day. What was going on?

I tried reducing fruit and vegetables, I tried avoiding junk food, I tried just about everything with the exception of praying (cause I’m an atheist and I have my bottom line). I even tried eating some meat (I am a sorta vegetarian, but the anal leakage ended that during my experimenting).

However, a few years in, I noticed that after a holiday or two, I had reduced symptoms (but they were not eliminated). Ah – a starting point! I refined my attempts at self-doctoring. I first though that it might be dairy because when on holidays I didn’t eat much cheese, ice cream or yogurt, and symptoms seemed to diminish (but were, again, not eliminated).

OK. If symptoms could be reduced, maybe there was more to it. I (falsely) blamed food processors and producers for ALL my symptoms, but that took a lot of time to isolate. *I should have only blamed them for* ***some*** *of my problems.* I experimented again – I eliminated cheese(s) that had cellulose as an ingredient and saw improvement. I only lucked onto this as I had read somewhere that anal leakage was a possible, but uninvestigated side effect of cellulose consumption (huh? great research!). I also returned to eating yogurt and ice cream and seemed to be OK as the return to eating them did not increase leakage. Although I switched to premium brands to be sure. Ieventually threw out the ‘dairy is bad’ theory. Yet I also falsely assumed I had been somewhat damaged by years of cellulose cheese (or some other irrational thinking) until … I somehow saw the light. Without any holy intervention, I figured it out! But it took so long! (I know, I’m repeating this, but have you ever had anal leakage? For a few days, or for a few YEARS?)

At almost the same time of my anal leakage becoming a daily event (rather than sporadic as in a few years before that), I had started taking daily health supplements that had added cellulose! IT TOOK 5 YEARS TO MAKE THE FINAL CONNECTION!

I then eliminated all known cellulose from my dietary intake by replacing the 3 supplements for similar supplements without cellulose (from other manufacturers). The 3 supplements I had been taking all had cellulose as an ingredient in the capsule or as a binder. Incidentally, all 3 were made by the same manufacturer. (Name of manufacturer withheld to avoid ….)

That was about a month ago (around March, 2018) and I no longer have anal leakage. NONE.

After over 5 years of greasy, slippery, stinky underwear … I’M FREE!!!!

Whoever thought of, and approved, letting food or supplement manufacturers put cellulose into my body (and others’) either in cheese or in health supplements ought to have to wash everybody’s oily, smelly underwear for the rest of their life. No lesser punishment is acceptable.

And for taking those 5+ years of lost physical intimacy which was taken away from me, well, I’m, I’m, I’m gonna tell everyone I can … but I’ll do it anonymously.

NO MORE WOOD IN ANYONE’S BODY!