u ever just.
realize you’re going down a mental spiral into insanity but you’re to sad to do anything about it so now you’re just laying in bed wishing you were born a girl, and contemplating attempting suicide again? just wishing you were born different so you wouldn’t have to put up a fake image of yourself so when your friends inevitably leave you you won’t get heartbroken? just forcing a smile and telling everyone you’re ok while you’re sitting awake in english class wishing you were dead, but you can’t tell anyone because you don’t wanna bring your friends down, so you just have to say everything is ok causing you to have a subconscious reaction with saying “i’m fine” meanwhile you’re invisioning death while daydreaming? same.