So when I was like three I became like obsessed as fuck with Alex. I think it was because I saw THE GROOMING OF A 14 YEAR OLD documentaries and Alex looked like a total badass with the nose and hair and chalice and whatnot. My parents, wanting to foster my interests in Alex bought me the Encyclopedia of the Waifus and read it to me before bedtime. I would have them read to me about Alex over and over again and then go to class in pre k and tell the other kids about Alex. I watched hours and hours of waifu documentaries because I was obsessed. This fascination also led me to tell my parents that people that were loud at restaurants, “must be STOLEN ASSETS.” My parents were called in for a PTA meeting and they were instructed to stop telling me about Alex because the other kiddos were starting to like him too.