A lot of guys pee standing up, right? And you have to aim, because otherwise you’d mess (and would therefore be no different from a woman who peed standing up). But if you have to aim, doesn’t that mean you have to hold a penis? Isn’t that gay?

From what I understand, close to 100% of gay activities involve holding or touching a penis in some way. When you hold your own penis, aren’t you just doing what basically every gay-doer does?

It’s the same for guys who masturbate using nothing but their hands, yeah? You’re just giving a big (or little) ‘ol gay handjob. But at least you can masturbate without your hands, by using like a vagina or something.

But if you peed standing up, and didn’t make a mess like some kind of girl (which is totally gay), you definitely held a penis. And that seems pretty gay.