>I was only 9 years old
>I loved Kim so much, I had all the merchandise and propaganda
>I pray to Kim every night before bed, thanking him for the life I’ve been given
>”Kim is love” I say; “Kim is life”
>My president hears me and calls me a commie
>I know he was just jealous of my devotion for Kim
>I called him a bourgeoise sheep
>He audits me and sends me to go to sleep
>I’m crying now, and my economy hurts
>I lay in bed and it’s really cold
>Suddenly, a warmth is moving towards me
>It’s Kim
>I am so happy
>He whispers into my ear
“The ladies love me because I have a two foot long shlong, and can go at it for 50 hours straight, baby!” (actual quote)
>He grabs me with his powerful god-King hands and puts me down onto my hands and knees
>I’m ready
>I spread my northern border
>He penetrates my South Korea
>It hurts so much but I do it for Glorious Leader
>I can feel my capitalism tearing as my eyes start to water
>I push against his force
>I want to please The god-king
>He roars in a mighty roar as he seizes my means of production
>My president walks in
>Kim looks him straight in the eyes and says “Bourgeoise scum .”
>Kim leaves through my window
>Kim is love. Kim is life.