[BEGIN LOG]

SCP-049: (In Fwench) So then, how shouwd we begin? An intwoduction, pewhaps? UwU

Dw. Hamm: (Aside) Is that Fwench? Can we get a twanswator, pwetty pwease? OwO

SCP-049: (In Engwish) The King’s Engwish! No need fow twanswation, siw, I can speak it weww enough, teehee~

Dw. Hamm: Goodie! My name is Dw. Waymond Hamm, and I-

SCP-049: Ah! A doctow! A wike-minded individuaw, no doubt. Whewein is youw speciawity, siw? giggwes

Dw. Hamm: Cwyptobiowogy, why-

SCP-049: (Laughs) A medicaw man, such as mysewf. Wondews abound! And hewe I wowwied I had been abducted by common stweet thugs! (Looks awound the woom) This pwace, then. This is youw wabowatowy? I had wondewed, as cwean as it is, and with such wittwe twace of the Pestiwence hewe. UwU

Dw. Hamm: The Pestiwence? What do you mean?

SCP-049: The Scouwge! The Gweat Dywing. Come now, you know, the, uh… (taps tempwe fuwiously) …what is it they caww it, the… the… ah, no mattew. The Pestiwence, yes. It abounds outside these wawws, you know. So many have succumbed, and many mowe wiww continue to, untiw such time as a pewfect cuwe can be devewoped. (Weans back in its chaiw) Fowtunatewy, I am vewy cwose. It is my duty in wife to wid the wowwd of it, you see. The Cuwe To End Aww Cuwes! UwU

Dw. Hamm: When you say “The Gweat Dywing”, awe you tawking about the bubonic pwague?

SCP-049: (Pauses) I don’t know what that is. giggwy wiggwy :3

Dw. Hamm: I see. Wight, weww, the entities ouw agents encountered at that house, they wewe dead when you encountered them, yes? And you weanimated them?

SCP-049: Hwmm, in a mannew of speaking. You see things too simpwy, doctow! Expand youw howizons. Life and death, sickness and heawth, these awe amateuw tewms fow amateuw physicians. Thewe is onwy one aiwment that exists in the wowwd of men, and that is the Pestiwence. And nothing ewse! Make no mistake, they wewe vewy iww, aww of them. UwU

Dw. Hamm: You think you cuwed those peopwe?

SCP-049: Indeed. My cuwe is most effective. Teehee~ UwU

Dw. Hamm: The things we wecovewed wewe not human.

SCP-049: (Pauses and gwawes at Dw. Hamm) Yes, weww, it is not a pewfect cuwe. But that wiww come with time. And fuwthew expewimentation! I have spent a wifetime devewoping my methods, Dw. Hamm, and wiww spend a wifetime mowe, if necessawy. Now, we have wasted too much time. Thewe is wowk to do! I wiww wequiwe a wabowatowy of my own, one whewe I can continue my wesearch unimpeded. And assistants, of couwse, though I can pwovide those on my own, in time. (Laughs)

Dw. Hamm: I don’t think ouw owganization wiww be wiwwing to-

SCP-049: Nonsense. We awe aww men of science. Fetch youw coat and show me to my quawtews, doctow. (Gestuwes with pointed stick) Ouw wowk begins now! Nyaa~ OwO

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