Title sounds bad but hear me out.

For context, I (8M) was sold pubes from this 9th grader, let’s call him Scott (15M) for $10. I was initially very excited, but when my friends Stan (9M) and Kyle (8M) informed me that I had been scammed, and that I was supposed to grow my own pubes, I sought to get my money back.

I went to Scott’s house and very politely asked him for my money back, as he had scammed me, but he refused. I then tried to pretend to be an IRS worker to get the money back, but instead he stole ANOTHER $6.12 from me! I wasn’t able to see a movie with my friends!

Kyle told me to let it go and count my losses, but I was NOT about to let that BITCH get away with stealing MY $16.12.

I tried another method to get my money back, but instead he tricked me into going to a “pube festival”. THERE WAS NO PUBE FESTIVAL!

He then made me beg for the money and say “I’m a little piggy” (I’m big boned) AND DIDN’T EVEN GIVE ME THE MONEY AFTER HE MADE ME BEG FOR IT! And he BURNED THE MONEY IN FRONT OF ME!

At this point, I decided I HAD to have my revenge. Luckily, a man in my town named Mr. Denkins has a pony, and he let me use it so I could train it to bite off Scott’s penis, and I did just that.

I stalked him and noticed that he likes the band Radiohead, so I dubbed over their voices to be of them saying that Scott is not cool and invited the whole town to watch. This made him angry, so he showed the video of him forcing me to beg. This of course made me livid, and I decided I needed to do something big.

I decided to invite Radiohead to watch Scott get his penis bitten off by the pony, and I enlisted Stan and Kyle to help, but they refused. I sent a letter to Radiohead claiming that there was a kid named Scott who had cancer and loves Radiohead, so they needed to come see him before he passes, right after he gets his wiener bitten off. At this point I’d even successfully trained the pony to bite his wiener off! I lured Scott under the guise of a chili carnival.

Here’s where I might be TA: I knew Stan and Kyle would betray me and tell Scott about what I was planning, and I knew he’d send his parents to get rid of the pony.

But, the thing is, Denkins shoots trespassers on sight, and I told him that there were violent pony killers in the area, so he shot and killed both of Scott’s parents. I collected their bodies and turned them into chili to feed Scott at the carnival, and told him all about what I did. The best part is Radiohead came and saw him cry over his parents and said he wasn’t cool! But Kyle says I’m TA for killing two people over $16.12.

So, Reddit, Am I the Asshole?