A liberal anarchist Luxemburgist Titoist IWW member professor and Rojava foreign fighter was teaching a class on Irving Kristol, a known Trotskyite.

“Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Kristol and accept that he was the most class-conscious being the world has ever known, even greater than Thomas More!”

At that moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-worker Spetsnaz champion who had served 1500 tours of duty and understood the necessity of Socialism in One Country and fully supported all military decision made by the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics stood up and held up the Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact.

“Why did Stalin invade Poland?”

The arrogant professor smirked quite Ukrainianly and smugly replied “He was a fascist, you stupid tankie”

“Wrong. He invaded to save eastern Poland from Hitler. If he was a fascist, as you say, why didn’t he declare war on Germany in 1939 like the fascist imperialist states of France and Britain?”

The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Gramsci’s Prison Notebooks. He stormed out of the room crying those bourgeois crocodile tears. The same tears American pigs cried for the “kulaks” (who lived in such luxury that most owned combine harvesters) when they were sent to face punishment for their crimes against the people in corrective-labor camps. There is no doubt that at this point our professor, Noam Chomsky, wished he had joined the Stalin Society and become more than a bourgeois liberal professor. He wished so much that he had a gun to shoot himself from embarrassment, but he wasn’t a member of the Communist Party!

The students applauded and all registered Communist that day and accepted Enver Hoxha as their lord and savior. An eagle named “Withering away of the state” flew into the room and perched atop the Red Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The Internationale was sung several times, and Kim Jong-un himself showed up and incited a new Intifada.

The professor lost his tenure and was fired after the ensuing Second Bolshevik Revolution. He was arrested by the Militsiya and sent to Siberia where he was executed with an ice axe to the head.

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