Ok so Luigiiii- Lui- Luigi goes to, uh, sleep, and, uh, he’s in bed and he’s like “I am sleeping” and, uh, Mario enters the room and he’s like “LUIGI! Do you- do you want to CUDDLE?” And, uh- Luigi says “Yes” and, uh, so they’re cuddling, and, um- uh- uh- Mario- Mario toots the bed- Mario toots the bed and Luigi says “Oh! Oh! Oh- Oh gosh!” And Mario says “I’m sorry Luigi!” And he leaves- and then Mario wakes u- Luigi wakes up in the morning and he goes into the living room and finds out Mario’s DEAD! Uh, it’s- it’s- Mario’s head is on the floor and Luigi’s like “OH! Who did this!?” And, uh- so he picks up the head and he puts it in his purse, and uh, he goes to Princess Peach’s, uh, …place, and he’s like “Peach! Mario’s dead!” Peach is like “Oh! Oh no!” She says and she’s like “I will be right back!” And then she goes into her, uh, bloody knife room, and she begins throwing away all of her bloody knifes! And, uh, Luigi walks in, and he’s like “Oh, you’ve bought new bloody knifes since the last time I was here!” And she’s like “Yeah!” Uh, and then Luigi decides to go tell Yoshi about Mario dying, so he goes to Yoshi… And then Luigi goes to, uh- to uh, Daisy’s house and uh, Daisy’s not home, so uh, he says “I guess I’ll have to come back, uh, another day. She must be out now.” So Luigi goes back, uh, to Yoshi’s house and Yoshi says “Are you back to talk about Mario?” Luigi’s like “I didn’t tell you about Mario dying?” Yoshi’s like “Yeah you did” And then Luigi goes to, uh- I don’t know what other Mario characters there are, I- that’s like all of em, that’s every Mario character. Oh Yoshi goes to a- Luigi goes to a god damn Goomba’s house, says “Mario’s dead!” The Goomba’s like “Well, ok” Uh, imma- imma be honest, I don’t really have an end goal here. So Luigi goes to Toad’s house and Toad says “I KILLED MARIO!” Luigi’s like “Oh! Wow! That’s resolved then!” And, uh, Luigi calls the police and the police- the police get to Todd’s house and Todd says “LOL, I was joking!” The police are like “Eh, we can’t take him to prison Luigi, he was joking. Uh, he was doing a goof- he was doing a gaff” Luigi’s like “Yeah, you’re right” and then, uh, Luigi goes back to Daisy’s house and they find Luigi taking a fat dump in the bathroom while Daisy’s just laying there dead, and they’re like “Luigi! You did it!” And so they handcuffed him, and they take him to, uh- to uh, Mushroom prison, and uh, Luigi spends about 25 years there, uh- I won’t go into details ’cause I don’t wanna bore you. He goes to uh, Toad’s house again and uh, Toad died of old age. Toads only live like 20 years. Uh, then he goes to Pink Gold Peach’s house. They- they make out for a little bit. And THEN! Luigi notices that he’s been getting followed by Wario and Waluigi! And they’re like “Wehehehehehehe! I bet he doesn’t know that WE’RE the KILLERS! The WHOLE TIME!” And Luigi’s like “…oh! Why would you do that?” And Wario and Waluigi say “Somebody hired us!” And Luigi’s like “It was Bowser, wasn’t it!?” They’re like “No, it was METAL MARIO!” And then Metal Mario comes out and he’s like “I had to- I- I had to become the 10th President of the United States, so I had to kill, uh, Mario, and I had to kill Daisy too because I felt like it!” And, uh, Metal Mario- I forgot how to spin jump- Metal- Metal Mario then PUNCHES Luigi in the throat, and Luigi goes “He CHAAAAAAAA!!!” He throws them into a volcano, uh, they don’t DIE but they’re stuck inside of it now, it’s not an active volcano. Uh, and then Luigi is like “I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE PRESIDENT METAL MARIO!!!” And Metal Mari- Metal Mario, uh, who was recently elected the 10th President, uh, says- 20 years ago he got elected, uh, he says “HOW!?” And Luigi says- Lui- Luigi says “I will shoot you!” And Luigi pulls out a, uh- uh- uh, like a- like a one of those tiny little German pistols that got like the tiny little thing at the end, and he goes “Boo boo boo!” “I had to stop him because he was gonna prescribe us both cancer and I didn’t want you to die, brother!” And Luigi says “Oh Brother! Why’d you kill Daisy!?” Mario says “LOL” then dies! Luigi said- Luigi said “Well that’s- that’s as simple as that!” And then the- and then, uh, credits. That’s the credits and then they exploded! And then they exploded and then there’s an after credits scene of Wario and Waluigi and they’re in the volcano, and uh, they look at each other and they say “VolcaNO!”