Obligatory mention: this is a throw-away account. I don’t care about karma, I don’t care about criticisms, I just need to like… Put this somewhere, since I’m having a bit of an existential crisis about the revelation I’ve had. And yeah, the word choice was intentional. Feel free to let this die in the reddit annals.

See, I think the human body is pretty firmly… Boring! Kinda gross. I’m not sexually attracted to masculine or feminine humans at all. Not androgynous figures, not models, not thick bois, nothing. I just don’t like people, in a sexual sense. Now, saying this, one might be inclined to think I’m asexual! Except I love sex. I just keep the lights turned off, and roleplay with my partners in such a way that neither of us are “human”. I have romantic and sexual attraction to hyper specific people, and more for their mind than their body.

So what am I to do? What *am* I attracted to, if not humans?

I love monsters. I love the idea of getting railed by one. Of romancing one. (Of being one too, but that’s besides the point.) I’d much rather be involved with a creature with a sentient mind (knowing that yes, it’ll never happen because they aren’t real), than a human who you know, actually exists. Some of my friends I’ve talked to about this have suggested fursuiting, but the problem with that is… They’re all pretty largely human-shaped, even if they’re non-humans, and I don’t want to add fuel to the furry-hate fire (there’s only a small amount of people in their community who participate in sexualizing their suits, and even those people are fine, I just don’t wanna add to the discourse negatively).

So I’m at a loss for what to do with this emotional / sexual revelation. I don’t like the way humans look, as a sexual entity, but I looove sex. Guess I’ll just get real familiar with Bad Dragon and Primal Hardwere.