Ever since the day I was born I’ve had a knack for getting large objects shoved up my rectum. When I was 2, I got a few golf balls up there (my dad helped me out with this). When I was 5, I got a few baseballs with the help of some good old coconut oil and a blow dryer. When I was 8, I inserted a 15 pound dumbbell and a volleyball on top of that, this time with the help of an tomato juice enema and a jack. When I was 10, I shoved an entire bowling ball up there, breaking my tailbone and dislocated three lower vertebrate. I didn’t go to the hospital, because that place is for weaklings who can only shove a magic 8-ball up there. I’m too strong for that.

Anyways, the year is 2018 and I’m 12 years old. That night, I wanted to go for the big one: fitting an entire full-size watermelon into my beautiful anus. It was a warm, blissful night and both of my parents had gone out of town to shoot a porno together (my younger brother had committed suicide a few weeks back, so this was the perfect time to do this). Additionally, Alabama’s babysitters are some of the kinkiest people you’ll ever find. Before my parents leave, they show me her. Beautiful 17 year old girl with red hair, some freckles, and some perky nipples. She smiles at me and the second she does, I know she’ll call me daddy by the end of the night. My 12-year-old schlong is throbbing with pain as my balls swell with joy.

After my parents leave, she pulls me close and says “Tonight we’re gonna have a little fun, aren’t we?” She whips out some XL condoms but I stop her right there, telling her about my plans that night. She was instantly dripping wet and loved for me to do it. Out from under my bed, I grab the largest watermelon I can find and seven cans of coconut oil. I didn’t need the jack this time since my tailbone hadn’t fused together yet (remember the accident).

She gently kisses my anus as she lubes that absolute unit of a watermelon up with all her might. It took about 20 minutes until it was fully in, and wow, it felt like there was an entire watermelon up there. I couldn’t believe it. My lifelong dream had finally come true. Then I feel something moving in my intestines. It was a big mistake to have eaten all those oreos. All of a sudden, BAM. Half of the watermelon shoots out from inside me, hits her in the head and knocks her out cold. The watermelon insides slowly drip out of my bruised, torn anus as I realize, this is my chance!

I take her limp body, whip out my little porker, and put it right inside her. With that coconut oil, that was the best feeling ever. Back and forth, back and forth, I simulate ever position I had remembered from Wonder Pets porn. My large testicles are growing larger my the second, my eyes widen, and I finally blow my load inside her, pulsating as it comes. Wow, that was a ride of a lifetime.

I’m really happy, but all of a sudden it hits me. My parents can’t find this, because I already told them I was gay and now they would see me with a girl! They’d kill me. Quickly, I go over to the nearest field, get my shovel and start digging. Once I get the hole big enough, I throw her body (she’s still breathing, so it’s all good) in that pit and leave. Whew, massive bullet dodged.

When my parents got home a few days later, I simply told them that the girl left early. They suspected nothing, but I will remember that day for the rest of my life.